Wide awake

It is already 6am and I am still wide awake. A part of me is wondering how are you doing? Are you happy? Did you already get married? 

I remember my dream before. I went back to your house. And as the lady open the door there were two kids running around. I heard you shouting from inside asking who it was. 

I know that is what going to happen. I always have crazy premonitions that do come true.

Well, it was good that someone is going to be with you when you grow old. But somehow i feel bitter that it was not me...

How

It has always been a pleasure for me whenever I drive alone. It gives me the time to think things over. But always it is YOU that comes to my mind. What and why we have to end.

My thoughts were like a roller coaster ride. There are times I feel so sad that my tears just kept on flowing that it blinds my eyes.

Then there are times I will shout your name so loud hoping you can hear me. 

But I have to be realistic. We will never be! So to help myself I comfort myself by nurturing the hate for you. For me it is the best solution so it can help me move on. In fact I have set my mind that you are already dead! That even if I call or mesaage you all will be in vain because you are already in another dimension. Come to think of it you are really in another space now! I am putting you to Pluto! Far from my Earth!

To Continue..

It has been a while. So many things had happened.
There has been a lot of times I've been rearing to continue this blog but I don't want any of my friends to read this because this is my inner thoughts. I don't want them to know what I really feel because I am afraid that they will never understand why.
Anyways just like the saying "dance as if no one is watching" so I will write as if no one who knows me personally will be able to read..